Am I ever moving with the Spirit? Today I lost it with my children and feel a failure. A good cry doesn't seem to help, but at least ends it with fatigue. I did manage to play the piano amidst the weeping and miserably sang praises. That's got to count for something. But I don't feel praise rising, I am forcing syllables out of my lungs. Is this the best life has? I want to run off and stop being a parent and a wife. I want to retreat and experience life without relationship conflict. I am tired. How is knowing I am loved unreservedly meeting any need in my life right now. Really? Yes, He loves me. So what? It's not helping me be a better mother at the moment. It has no effect on me at all... or so it seems. I need to see what Jesus sees.. I am blind and dumb.